Thursday, July 19, 2012

Random YAck Attack: Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

Throne of Glass
by Sarah J. Maas

Published: August 7th, 2012
Publisher: Bloomsbury Childrens

Add it- Goodreads | Buy it- IndieBound

From Goodreads: After serving out a year of hard labor in the salt mines of Endovier for her crimes, 18-year-old assassin Celaena Sardothien is dragged before the Crown Prince. Prince Dorian offers her her freedom on one condition: she must act as his champion in a competition to find a new royal assassin.

Her opponents are men—thieves and assassins and warriors from across the empire, each sponsored by a member of the kings council. If she beats her opponents in a series of eliminations, she’ll serve the kingdom for three years and then be granted her freedom.

Celaena finds her training sessions with the captain of the guard, Westfall, challenging and exhilirating. But she’s bored stiff by court life. Things get a little more interesting when the prince starts to show interest in her... but it’s the gruff Captain Westfall who seems to understand her best.

Then one of the other contestants turns up dead... quickly followed by another. Can Celaena figure out who the killer is before she becomes a victim? As the young assassin investigates, her search leads her to discover a greater destiny than she could possibly have imagined.

This was NOT an official book blub read. A few of us just happened to read it at the same time and then we spewed forth THIS:


Melissa: Who's read Throne of Glass?? I'm trying to figure out what it is about it that's driving me stinking batty: I like the plot, but I'm constantly annoyed at it while I'm reading. Thoughts?

Laura: I think it's a comedy. At least that's what I got out of it. It's very entertaining but it HAS to be a joke. Apparently it's set in A WORLD...I got that only when I finished it because said world never really were just suppose to KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. It's about Assassin Barbie and her many weapon/ball gown changes. I think there's even an interview category where she wishes for world peace, knives and chocolate. I liked it enough to finish it but the WRITING IS SHIT....not only shit, but like shit that's been left out in the sun and gone all white and's on the STONE SIDE OF SHIT.

Amber: I loved the book, but the only thing that did annoy me while reading was some parts really dragged out and some POV's just seemed out of place.

Melissa: Oh, Laura, that is why I love you. Amber, the POV is kind of what bugs me (It's mostly Laura's point about the writing, though...): it feels awkward, especially when she switches from Assassin Barbie's point of view (I'm going to call her that because I can't pronounce her name...).

Amber: I think she should have stuck to one POV per chapter type of deal. I do heart me some Chaol like no other though :)

Melissa: Maybe part of the problem is that it's taking so. damn. long. to get started. I want to like the characters, I want to adore the men, but I am. not. there. yet. *frustrated*

Donna: The MC is a total SUE and I wanted to murder her in her sleep. Not to mention everyone is so insane that this chick is going to go on a murdering spree while in the royal castle and around the royalty so why not put her in shackles that she can actually move and a posh room with a mirror that ABSOLUTELY CAN'T BE USED AS SHARDS OF DEATH. I got 100 pages in before I gave up. I wanted to light it on fire. And since I was reading it on my work computer in a glass building built on stilts, that would NOT have been a good thing. I will be supplementing my DNF review with Tom Hiddleston as Loki faces because not only is that man in intriguing ball of sex but his myriad of WTF facial expressions will supplement my words nicely.

Melissa: Ah, anything's better with Tom Hiddleston. :-) I suppose the problem will be not stealing anything from your review, Donna...

Donna: Haha! Giffed out review. I needed to let it be free -
Bites: Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

Sandy: Those GIFs were amazing. and now I'm slightly nervous to read ToG. My non-blogging friend loved it o.o;

Sya: See, I found myself really enjoying this one. I expected to hate it, I really did, but no. I even liked the protagonist... The only thing that pissed me off was the ridiculous names. How does once say Chaol? Hmmmm?

Sandy: I believe the author has a pronunciation guide on her website? lemme see... yes! Throne of Glass Pronunciation Guide (Chaol is apparently said like "Kay-all")

Donna: Kay-all? This is why I keep my names phonetic. I was pronouncing it NOTHING like what it's supposedly supposed to be pronounced like. I've been saying it choad, with an l.

Laura: I call bullshit. Some half-rate fan-fiction forum fantasy writer (I love alliteration) can't just start throwing around names and using unheard of pronunciations from a language that exists only in her head. Her pronunciation guide is an affront to every fantasy writer who ever actually considered the linguistics behind the world they created. And it's more than a bit pretentious. TOLKIEN SHE IS NOT.

Melissa: I think if one needs a pronunciation guide to read your fantasy book, then one shouldn't be writing fantasy. (Which is why I don't read Dune.) And Donna, I was pronouncing it the same way.

Sabrina: Like Sya, I really enjoyed this one too. A few bumps, specially with the stupid pov changes that made no sense. But I enjoyed the romance a lot. :P

Donna: Is Maas her own cover model? Or does the cover model look a hell of a lot like Maas? Because that a whole other level of self-insert if I ever saw one. And Laura, you just don't UNDERSTAND creating fantasy names. They HAVE to be ridiculous and smashtastic and need a reference guide to pronounce or else you DON'T HAVE A FANTASY. Duh.

Sandy: THAT IS WHAT I THOUGHT TOO. The girl on the cover and the author look so alike.

Melissa: ‎Donna: I blame Tolkien.

Sya: I did wonder about the cover model on the US version - it really does look an awful lot like her (and WAY too old to be seventeen...). I've just caught up with blog comments on my review of this. They are ALMOST ALL FROM YOU LOT. I like this, but you're all crazy. I'll reply in the comments.: Also, and I'm pretty sure this will be controversial - I preferred this to the dirge that was Grave Mercy. For reals. Discuss.

Melissa: Oh, c'mon, Sya: at least Grave Mercy was actually, y'know, *written well*. And the main character did something (other than simper). (At least, that's all she did in the 100 pages I read of ToG...) And you didn't have to read the author's previous web-exclusive works to get what the hell was going on. And the names (mostly) were pronounceable. (Well, maybe not.)

Donna: I haven't read Grave Mercy. It didn't grab at me when I saw it. And I'm pretty sure I'll stay away from YA assassins from now on. Because really, a 17 year old super assassin is just fucking ridiculous. I don't care who wrote it. But I do have a short stack of adult PNR in my pile with assassins. I think. They have sex in it. That's what I care about.

Sya: I actually did think that the writing was good in Grave Mercy but the ability to make pretty with the words does not cancel out such bland plotting. As my WIP sadly repeatedly proves. Le sigh. Also, I hadn't read any of the ToG online stuff and didn't have a problem with the plot at all. The names, however, were ridiculous.

Donna: Some fantasy writers should just resort to cyrillic languages. It'll be easier. And real. Or a hybrid cyrillic/Roman, like Croatian. Equally as unpronouncable but, you know, REAL.

YAckers Throne of Glass Reviews:
Melissa Review at: The Book Nut
Donna's Review at: Bite My Books
Laura's Review at: A Jane of All Reads
Sya's Review at: The Mountains of instead